My very first post, how exciting J
So as you know I have 2 little ones, a 2 year old and a 4 month old. Today I wanted to talk about my experience having baby number one and some practical ideas which I hope will help some new mummies out there.
With my first child the whole experience was life changing. I truly believe that you can never fully mentally prepare yourself for how you are going to feel after having your first baby, you can read every book under the sun, watch every episode of Baby Story, pin a million nursery ideas and yet NOTHING prepares you for that day when you hold your newborn in your arms and feel the strongest love you have ever felt, yes it is an amazing experience but let’s be honest it’s also a really scary and overwhelming one at times!
Take things one day at a time
Don’t stress right now about how you are going to cope once you go back to work or how you are going to handle being home all day everyday with a baby. Just take things a day at a time! There is no better way to overwhelm yourself right now than to start panicking about things that are a few weeks or months away, you will cope with those things when they happen! But for now (especially in the first few weeks after the baby) you really need to just focus on spending time with your baby and developing that bond. Maybe have a little plan for your day, for example today I am going to take a little walk with the stroller, take a shower and a nap. I find that having a little plan each day is nice but keep it flexible and don’t beat yourself up if you don’t achieve all of those items. A wise woman once told me laundry will always be there, your baby will only be a newborn once. You will have good days and bad days, it’s ok
Just because you have a bad day it doesn’t mean that you are doomed as a mother
This was the biggest issue I struggled with as a new mother. I would have a bad day and just convince myself that I was going to be a terrible mother. I was putting so much pressure on myself to be the perfect mother that inevitably the pressure got too much and I became very stressed and overwhelmed. So this is my advice, give yourself a break, you just had a baby, your hormones are shot, you ache all over, your tummy looks like a deflated balloon (Ok maybe that was just me!) and it really is ok if not every day is perfect. Some days will be great and some days brushing your teeth will feel like your biggest achievement. Its normal, motherhood is the hardest job in the world, you are learning “on the job” you will make mistakes, it’s only natural! If you have a bad day just know that tomorrow is a new day and you can make it better.
Be Flexible
Just when you think you got this motherhood thing figured out something can suddenly change, baby loved to sleep 8 hours at night? Guess what!! Sleep regression can happen and all of a sudden you are up every hour tending to a fussy and unhappy baby. Babies change and grow rapidly so don’t assume that things will remain the same, be flexible and ready to go with the flow as much as possible. I can’t remember how many times I was in my local market trying to shop with a screaming baby feeling myself getting more and more stressed out, looking back what I should have done is abandon my shopping cart and just sat in my car and nursed the baby or just gone home. Sometimes babies don’t cooperate with your plans and that’s ok, be flexible and don’t stress over the little things
Make time for yourself
The first few weeks and months of motherhood can be extremely tough; don’t make it any harder by setting unreasonable expectations. There will be times when the baby will cry through no fault of your own and becoming anxious and upset will only make the situation worse. The best way to help you cope is to make some time for yourself. You need to have some “me” time each day where you can just be alone for a little while just to relax and re-group.
My husband would take over for me each night for 30 minutes or so and I would go take a relaxing bath, not a huge deal but let me tell you I would look forward to that little bit of time ALL day long, it would keep me going. It’s so important to take that little bit of time for yourself and in my opinion I think it’s better to have a little bit of time each day that is yours than to have a whole day off just every now and then (obviously if somebody wants to offer to babysit for a whole day and send you to a day spa then you should jump on that offer!J) Make time for yourself and don’t waste time feeling guilty about it, if you are a frazzled and stressed you won’t be the best mother you can be! Make that time for yourself and you will be amazed at how much better you feel
What advice would you give new mothers? I would love to hear your thoughts!
